Dear Arlis

This is how it all started: (husband) “There are Australian Shepherd Puppies for sale.” (me) googling and researching Australian Shepherd. Musing and even asking him “Is Heavenly Father suggesting we get a dog?” (husband) “What’s He telling you??”

That was how the conversation/consideration began which quickly took a turn for the worse.  For in one day oldest took the antenea off Ole’ Blue (94 Ford) and decided to see what banging on the already-cracked windshield might yield. It yielded a $175 new windshield and a boy that gets to rake the front yard this season.  And that afternoon husband’s glasses fell apart. The $300 frames. Replaced by black frames for $60. He lookes very astute, I’d say.

So for several weeks the discussion ended. Until the pain of unexpected expenses could fade just a bit.

The discussion picked back up as I compared a Wii to a dog. I’m lo-tech. And I plan to stay that way. Our kids are 6 and nearly 4. They need to be outside, outside, outside. I need to be outside, for that matter! And I don’t want another thing I have to monitor or limit. Dog won. And was approved.

I diligently began seeking the Stone Family Dog. Researching the breeds I think we’d be interested in, which are Border Collie, Blue Heeler, Australian Shepherd and possibly, Lab or Golden Retriever.  Our past dogs were both Schnauzers and we loved them.  But we wanted our boys to have a big boy dog.

I went through a series of dogs:  Kady, a beautiful border collie; Pepper, a 15 lb. Fox terrier/Blue Heeler that stole our hearts on the web site. Next was Lucy, an Australian Shepherd at our local humane shelter and Fraydo, a black and white short haired Australian Shepherd mix.Then there was Danny, a border collie black lab mix.  Beautiful markings and trained perfectly for our family.  

Surprisingly my dog-lover heart was able to rebound from several disappointments.  What I found was that working with rescue organizations is a bit interesting.  And I think there are some interesting practices occuring within these organizations.  Perhaps I’ll leave that for another blog entry.  I was able to walk through our local humane society without wanting/believing I needed to rescue every dog there. 

So over a week ago we spent some time with what seems to be an obvious choice, although previously eliminated – our neighbor’s 2 year old Border Collie, Arlis.  Dear Arlis came to our neighbors as a stray over a year ago.  One day he followed them home from a walk down the street.  No one responded to their info posted of a found dog and so they chose to keep him. 

We’ve had the pleasure of helping care for Arlis when they have been away.  When he’s darted out their door, we’ve come to the rescue and lassoed him to safety.  But youngest was not convninced he was for us until we had Arlis over to see if he would not jump on him.  Several larger dogs, including Arlis,  have knocked him over and he doesn’t care for this, of course.

But as we sat down to have the dog discussion several weeks ago, Sawyer’s testimony to his dad was “He not jump on me!’  And so it became final:  when our dear neighbors, who have become dear friends, move into town next month, we will get the pleasure of homing dear Arlis. 

For now, we are housing him during the holidays while our neighbors are away.  Arlis has been the perfect gentlemen and he and I have enjoyed some quiet time together after every one has gone to bed.  He enjoys being inside – and is perfectly content to be outside, guarding, waiting, watching.  This morning he was joyfully playing with his new tennis balls – alone or with us! 

Making a decision guided by Father brings peace.  There’s poop that obviously needs to be scooped in the back yard, as there are now at least 3 pairs of shoes that need to be de-pooped.   Yesterday he got out the back gate once and had to be lassoed.  This did cause a bit of anxiety, but after marking his spot, he seemed to tune back in to his name!  Tony and I were doing prep work in the kitchen last night for todays meal – with a 45-50 lb dog lying in the middle of the floor.  “Oh, excuse me Arlis!”  After finishing placing the gifts under the tree I got a perfect pic of our “Christmas dog” laying at the foot of the tree.  He is part of our Christmas this year!  And tonight I’ve enjoyed the company of a sweet and gentle dog lying at my feet while I end this beautiful day.

A year ago I was very uninterested in having another dog.  What a difference a little time makes!

Merry Christmas, Arlis!

SO, it’s rest time in our house.  I can tell I’ve got some tired boys on my hands.  I’m tired but I’m not melting yet, although ready for MY nap!  Oldest starts getting grumpy and mouthy while we’re trying to put his bed back together (linen washing day) and by the time he’s snuggled under the covers he’s said “I’m tired of you” and something else I can’t remember…..but hurtful and unnecessary, nonetheless. 

I’ve been meditating on the Love Chapter in 1 Corinthians 13 – back to the basics is what I like to call it.  I’ve been reading it each morning and usually stick around “Love is patient.  Love is kind.  It is not easily angered. ”  Today I added on “Love is not self-seeking.”  So, basically, love is self-less.  Anyhow.  I continue to thank God for His Spirit in ME that I can be patient, kind and not easily angered – and thank you for the opportunties you (God) continue to present that allow HE and I to walk that out – mainly in my home! 

So today, as my ears heard these unkind words from my child, instead of being ”easily angered” as I had been in the past, and could have responded differently (’cause I’m human and sensed those things rising and about to bubble forth), I walked away and recalled God’s word that I’d been meditating on - walked back in his room and gently touched him, told him I loved him and to have a good rest with a smile, and asked if I could give him a hug, which he declined…until youngest wanted a hug – and then he was ready for one  

As I came into the kitchen, I realized I’d just experienced God’s transforming grace in ME.  And rejoiced.  And wrote it down in my journal, thanking Him for His goodness to make me into His instrument of love to my children.  It wasn’t difficult.  It was HIM.  And my boy experienced HIM.  And for that, I exhault HIM and bless HIS Name.

I’ve tried everything to embrace shopping day.  Organized.  Unorganized.  Have them help me.  Have them hold the cart.  Allow them to run up and down the isle.  Don’t allow them to do previous mentioned.  Reward.  Punishment.  Smile genuinely.  Fake smile.  Grab arm and whisper in their ear.  Speak loudly so that an isle over can hear me.  Have breakfast at Chick-fil-a and shop early.  Have lunch at Chick-fil-a and shop late.  Leave them at home with Dad and shop at night.  Leave them with my Mom and hurry-shop during the day. 

So we shopped at Albertson’s today to spend $20 (I spent $40…that tells me something about Albertsons and why I don’t shop there) so I could get a Jennie-O Turkey CHEAP.  Then we went to Krogers for big shopping and my effort was to have the boys take turn being my helpers and they would get paid.  Somewhere in that they both ended up pushing the cart, which was really nice and helpful.  But the end of the trip was a kicker….with my buggy LOADED, I asked Sammy to help pull from the front – and this lead to a scrape on his boots which I still don’t know if he actually got hurt, but the blood-curdling scream that came several seconds later…was because??  Which annoyed me…..then I try to manuever my buggy (LOADED) past this white car….and get stuck on their side mirror…which actually moves back in place, but then a 2 gallon water falls off from underneath while I’m trying to make sure my out-of-control-loaded-buggy does NOT scrape with white car….Sawyer says “Mom, the water!”  I’m yelling “Really!  Do I get to have any more frustrations today?????”  and yell at Sawyer to just leave the water!  But he picks it up and lugs it to the car…sweet boy.  As oldest finally pulls it together (’cause I’m not thinking he was hurt) and then runs his mouth when I try to tell him I didn’t intend to hurt him or his boots…I’m realizing I’m melting and should not have turned down the LARGE Hershey’s Chocolate bar Sammy offered me at checkout! 

I’m at a loss here.  Unless I just simply decide, it is what it is and it won’t always be this way.  At this point, the yellow school bus is not an option! LOL!  And I’m grateful it’s not, as we have some marvelous times.  But the next time it’s grocery shopping day and Sammy offers me some chocolate, I’ll say ”Thank you for reminding me I need chocolate!”  And pick up a Sonic diet vanilla coke on the way home!    Alas, my pantry and fridge are full with two turkeys in the freezer.  We’ve all had a nap and supper tonight is an Easty chicken Tortilla Soup.  For this, and God’s grace that we are now smiling again, I am thankful!

Strangely to most I would think, I try to ask Father “what’s for dinner?” and listen for His preferences.  Yes, to some, this is a weird thing, and personally, I think it a bit weird as well.  But I’ve experienced cooking in the kitchen with the knowledge of His presence and guidance in this everyday occurance of cooking a meal for my family, and I must say, it’s extraordinary. 

So Monday, I kept pressing for “what’s for dinner?”  and He kept coming back with this new soup recipe, Curried Lentil Soup.  I’d already made Molasses Spelt bread that morning, along with Pecan Sandie cookie dough to freeze for a playdate, and THEN I tried a spinach casserole of lunch which was eaten by 2/3 of us.  Sawyer Wayne said “yucky.”  Well, worth a try is what I say.  So I finally relented after continuing to seek Him, and made the Curried Lentil soup.  It was eaten by 1/2 of us; kids gave it a thumbs down but Tony and I managed to eat it (it wasn’t that bad).   But it’s not to be in the menu rotation, if you know what I mean. 

So now I have this full “cool whip” container of Curried Lentil Soup.  And it’s been cold here where we are.  And sometimes I just get downright chilly.  So the other day for a warm up snack, out comes the curried lentil soup.  It had lost it’s soupiness, so I put about 3 scoops of lentil soup and 1 c. of water.  I added more cumin and curry, along with some salt (which was helpful) AND some red pepper flakes for extra extra spice and warmth!   And MY OH MY, that was some GOOD STUFF!  I then became delighted that I had that soup all to myself.  And to help bring down the  heat in my mouth, two bites of Greek Goddess Honey yogurt.  Wow.

So, that’s my story of a redeemed meal.  I say it’s better to try something new than not.  Is that maturity?

SO, here’s 6-10 in the pantry/fridge

6. Popcorn, organic
7. EGGS – we eat A LOT of eggs and when I made my fried rice last night, I was 1 egg shy and really prefer three in my fried rice when I don’t add meat
8. Corn tortillas – we do taquitos on Saturday morning or Sunday night, along with soft tacos with beans and spanish rice
9. Rice – still settling on brand, but usually choose to save money here; prices fluctuate, but I prefer Jasmine or Basmati, but usually get Food Brand, long grain
10. Dry beans – black or pinto, usually both. I have a great crock pot recipe for beans and do these at least once a week.

There it is! For me more than anyone else! Off to the store since we are out of some of our staples

UPDATE:  After trip to the Granary, my favorite organic popcorn is Arrowhead Mills, 1.75 lb. bag for $2.75.

12. Peanut Butter, Arrowhead Mills, sometimes organic, sometimes not

13.  Albacore Tuna in water

14.  Onions, i always cook with yellow onions, prefer the sweet ones, but right now, any onion I’ve brought home has made my eyes water :/

15.  Avocados, these use to be a luxury item, now they are a necessity!  And today, Walmart had them for 44 cents!

1. Spelt Flour (has replaced my forever used unbleached all-purpose)
2. NOW brand Maple Syrup (time for a Granary trip – we are out of this)
3. Nuts – anykind, sometimes peanuts in shell, almonds. Our freezer has many bags of pecan pieces I order in the fall;
I use these for my fruit salad and anything else they need to go into.
4. Farmer’s Cheese, homemade (aka Tvorog cheese) – this serves as my sour cream, yogurt (mix with honey or syrup). Yummy. Goes well with muffins or fruit. Everyone is happy when they eat it!
5. Apples, Apples, Apples!

Ok. I may have put more info with that than needed/wanted. I’m continually developing my staples list and one day hope to have it easily available on paper, other than in my forever-forgetting mind!

Some time ago I tossed all the parenting books aside. But yesterday I ordered a book I KNEW I needed since a lot of her information is on her website. From something I encountered recently I was faced with the question of what my parenting philosophy is. Hmmm. So after a not-so-fun-parenting incident on Monday evening, I went back to Raising Godly Tomatoes. I’d been recommended this site by a friend some time last year and I remember in July settling on it – and it worked. And then, I guess, somewhere along the days that ran into weeks, I stopped using the methods. Actually, what happened was, I gave my eldest a longer “leash” than he had earned. But, this works for us. So I’m anxiously awaiting my book (but have already gleaned enough from her website to put into action the methods we need to survive/thrive until then). And as I’ve said to my husband before “It would be great if you and i could at least be in the SAME BOOK, even if not on the SAME PAGE!” LOL! And after 48 hours of re-implementing this approach/method/philosophy, we’ve had us some great two days!

The other parenting book I’ve poked my nose into recently is Tim Kimmel’s “Legacy of Love.” One of the kids actually took this book off the shelf one day and laid it on top of my stack by my chair. When I ran out of the house for a little diet vanilla coke down at the local Sonic after a particulary challenging day, I went to grab my bible and anything else that might jump out at me…and Legacy of Love did. And it was helpful and Father nailed for me why I was so troubled that day by my eldest’s behavior. It was an issue of character. And when I got home, Tony and I talked with him and we were able to settle it with God’s Word. Amazing.

I’ve picked up another book recently at a fabulous used book store in a nearby town. I could just stroll in that store for hours just reading the titles of books! It’s like a big ole’ hug from the books when you walk in. Love it. There I found a book “Whole Child/Whole Parent” by Berends. No doubt, it challenges my reading level – LOL! But it’s got some gems in it and after reading a bit out of it, I had new eyes for my boys. Inquisitive. Accepting. Understanding. Listening.

Certainly on my list: Wild at Heart, Bringing up Boys, The Strongwilled Child (this should have come out with Sammy when he was born!), The Birth Order Book, Shepherding a Child’s Heart. All these in no particular order.

Well, so many books. So little time. Not to mention all the wonderful blog info that’s out there! I hope to later share about the stack of fiction books that’s crossing my threshold.

I’ve been toying with “no naps” even before the holidays. It’s SO easy to go back to napping! Sometimes I don’t sleep well and I need a nap! My youngest (3 in three weeks!) could probably still use a nap, but he doesn’t want to miss anything! One thing I did try was having oldest rest on his bed with a book while I put youngest down for a nap (who likes for me to “lay down me” for him to go to sleep). This worked sometimes and Sammy and I would go do some school work and then take 30 minutes to rest (which Sammy usually fell asleep). And sometimes (when I wanted it to and even when I didn’t), Sammy would fall asleep reading his book! And Monday, I tried waking up Sammy after an hour nap – he woke up, changed positions, and went back to sleep for another 30 minutes!

So these past few days have been fairly easy to work through our afternoon “lull.” Tuesday we had organic produce co-op pick-up at 2:30, and errand, and then I took us to the park for park and bike riding time. Today we had to run a lunch into town for Dad. We’d made ourselves a picnic for the park but it was SO COLD (due to wind and no sun) that I couldn’t finish my lunch! The kids had already ran off without finishing their lunch, knowing their time was short! We’ll return on a day that the sun is out. So we picked up some Wendy’s chili on the way home, ate, I did some clothes folding while the kids played, and then I joined in for some block playing. We snuggled in a big chair for 30 minutes of Sense and Sensibility, then it was time for me to do some kitchen work. And surprisingly, the meltdowns we had encountered previously trying no naps haven’t popped up. I was on the verge of one today, but reigned myself in! LOL!

So here we are. Trying. Highly grateful for more peaceful bedtimes (for they have not always been this way even BEFORE trying no naps). To continue to survive, I hope to plan a walk to see our neighborhood horse we feed carrots to, do some art (I’m still working up the courage to do finger paints…), go see relatives, read, read, read our library books, play a game.

I think we’re going to make it.

Way before we had kids, Tony and I were involved in a large Sunday school class where everyone was having kids before us. I loved that class and the people in it and was very passionate about encouraging others in their relationship with Christ. One of the members had twins at one point – and then “fell of the face of the earth.” And I remember it making me sad that she no longer attended our class, or church, that I knew of. Perhaps to make it more challenging, I think her husband worked on Sundays. And although our class visited and encouraged her, nothing changed. However, believing that a parent, as a Believer, had the greatest responsibility of leading their child to faith in Christ, and in my opinion, worshipping with other believers is a part of the process of teaching them to live out God’s Word, could not understand her absence and rememember thinking “God didn’t give you those babies for you to drop out of church!” Well, this was my simple prayer when I got home and was changing clothes “Thank you Father, for helping us to work through the challenges of GETTING to church! Thank for for the tenacity and perseverance it often takes on a Sunday morning to not give up and to keep moving us (especially 2 small people!) forward so that we can live out our faith by worshipping with other Believers.” Because believe me, I encountered some small, yet viable opportunities this morning to throw my hands up in the air and say “FORGET IT! IT’s TOO HARD!”

Our time was well spent in worship (didn’t get there for song, only message). Pastor is still preaching on 2 Corinthians and giving/money. It’s been a great series. Tony is PUMPED about starting Dave Ramsey’s course in a few weeks.

Our next tour of duty was changed – we were to be MVP’s in Sawyer’s class (a breeze) but were asked before worship if we could switch to Sammy’s class. My response: I’m not prayed up for that! That class is 30+ strong. But we were willing – and always will be, to step in where we’re needed. Sammy was NOT happy about Momma being in his class, but Dad is the fun man of the two of us and was able to win him over by playing a game of “ball” in the fish tank (no fish or water) and this won him over easily. They divide the boys and girls up after getting started and we were in charge of sharing about Jesus being in the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights, how hard it must have been for him and how He made the right decisions to lean on/into Father during this testing. We made a 80 link chain yellow/black, representing day and night. My Sammy was a great help. I don’t know who was the rowdiest, the girls or boys. But both groups LOVED my husband. This is how it always is. Our previous next door neighbors had a daugther – she saw me more than Tony (he was working nights at the time), but she ALWAYS remembered his name and would ask about him – and then say “What’s your name again?” Anyhow, we survived 30+ kindergartener’s and were glad to get home!

Since I’m finishing this post a week late, I can’t remember much past that! But there were a few things I thought worth reading. Maybe a sentence or two.