So this is how it went down. Boys were up at 6:30 this morning (I’d been awake since 4:30; made them stay in there room until 7am and I’d had my coffee. This morning was BSF (Bible Study Fellowship), which is usually on Wednesday, but holiday week pushed it up a day. These are generally easy mornings for us as the boys LOVE going to BSF as well as I. They are tired when we depart from BSF, we pick up lunch, come home and they have to finish cleaning their room and doing their kitchen chore. They generally eat and play outside while I veg inside for a bit before it’s time to come in. Rest time is a MUST on BSF days. At present, school is not a priority on this day, unless we squeeze some in after rest time.
SO, it’s rest time in our house. I can tell I’ve got some tired boys on my hands. I’m tired but I’m not melting yet, although ready for MY nap! Oldest starts getting grumpy and mouthy while we’re trying to put his bed back together (linen washing day) and by the time he’s snuggled under the covers he’s said “I’m tired of you” and something else I can’t remember…..but hurtful and unnecessary, nonetheless.
I’ve been meditating on the Love Chapter in 1 Corinthians 13 – back to the basics is what I like to call it. I’ve been reading it each morning and usually stick around “Love is patient. Love is kind. It is not easily angered. ” Today I added on “Love is not self-seeking.” So, basically, love is self-less. Anyhow. I continue to thank God for His Spirit in ME that I can be patient, kind and not easily angered – and thank you for the opportunties you (God) continue to present that allow HE and I to walk that out – mainly in my home!
So today, as my ears heard these unkind words from my child, instead of being “easily angered” as I had been in the past, and could have responded differently (’cause I’m human and sensed those things rising and about to bubble forth), I walked away and recalled God’s word that I’d been meditating on – walked back in his room and gently touched him, told him I loved him and to have a good rest with a smile, and asked if I could give him a hug, which he declined…until youngest wanted a hug – and then he was ready for one 🙂
As I came into the kitchen, I realized I’d just experienced God’s transforming grace in ME. And rejoiced. And wrote it down in my journal, thanking Him for His goodness to make me into His instrument of love to my children. It wasn’t difficult. It was HIM. And my boy experienced HIM. And for that, I exhault HIM and bless HIS Name.
In a daze. That’s what I am when grocery shopping with my two, cute, sweet, adorable, BOYS. The youngest is too big to ride in the buggy, that is, except that big ‘0 car buggy at Kroger that takes every bit of my leg power to push! My youngest (3) is really not the challenge, but my dear 6 year old. Grocery shopping with my Sammy has been challenging since he learned he could get out of the two-seater Walmart cart. I remember one time I even had Daddy have a talk with him about cooperating with Momma, staying in the cart, blah, blah, blah. And here we are, 4 years later, and I hate grocery shopping days. And especially on this day, my mind drifts to the thought that I’d have an easier go at this if I stuck him in school and didn’t homeschool….on these days, the yellow bus looks appealing.
I’ve tried everything to embrace shopping day. Organized. Unorganized. Have them help me. Have them hold the cart. Allow them to run up and down the isle. Don’t allow them to do previous mentioned. Reward. Punishment. Smile genuinely. Fake smile. Grab arm and whisper in their ear. Speak loudly so that an isle over can hear me. Have breakfast at Chick-fil-a and shop early. Have lunch at Chick-fil-a and shop late. Leave them at home with Dad and shop at night. Leave them with my Mom and hurry-shop during the day.
So we shopped at Albertson’s today to spend $20 (I spent $40…that tells me something about Albertsons and why I don’t shop there) so I could get a Jennie-O Turkey CHEAP. Then we went to Krogers for big shopping and my effort was to have the boys take turn being my helpers and they would get paid. Somewhere in that they both ended up pushing the cart, which was really nice and helpful. But the end of the trip was a kicker….with my buggy LOADED, I asked Sammy to help pull from the front – and this lead to a scrape on his boots which I still don’t know if he actually got hurt, but the blood-curdling scream that came several seconds later…was because?? Which annoyed me…..then I try to manuever my buggy (LOADED) past this white car….and get stuck on their side mirror…which actually moves back in place, but then a 2 gallon water falls off from underneath while I’m trying to make sure my out-of-control-loaded-buggy does NOT scrape with white car….Sawyer says “Mom, the water!” I’m yelling “Really! Do I get to have any more frustrations today?????” and yell at Sawyer to just leave the water! But he picks it up and lugs it to the car…sweet boy. As oldest finally pulls it together (’cause I’m not thinking he was hurt) and then runs his mouth when I try to tell him I didn’t intend to hurt him or his boots…I’m realizing I’m melting and should not have turned down the LARGE Hershey’s Chocolate bar Sammy offered me at checkout!
I’m at a loss here. Unless I just simply decide, it is what it is and it won’t always be this way. At this point, the yellow school bus is not an option! LOL! And I’m grateful it’s not, as we have some marvelous times. But the next time it’s grocery shopping day and Sammy offers me some chocolate, I’ll say “Thank you for reminding me I need chocolate!” And pick up a Sonic diet vanilla coke on the way home! Alas, my pantry and fridge are full with two turkeys in the freezer. We’ve all had a nap and supper tonight is an Easty chicken Tortilla Soup. For this, and God’s grace that we are now smiling again, I am thankful!